I could have lived my life with so much less stress if only I had known these things.
#1 – It’s OK to make mistakes. No one is perfect except God. Striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure. Make your goal, “improvement,” not “perfection.”
If you see someone who doesn’t make mistakes, either you’re not looking hard enough, or they are really good at covering things up. This is not a license to do wrong and not care about it. It’s just accepting the fact that you will make mistakes.
Mistakes are lessons, not failures. Don’t be too hard on yourself. God still values you and will bring good out of your mistakes.
#2 – Regret is a waste of energy. Anxious people tend to remember and agonize over every stupid thing they ever did. We wake up in the middle of the night, regretting something we did five years ago.
You can’t change the past; you can only change the future. If you sinned, ask God for forgiveness and make it right with the other person if needed. If it was a stupid or embarrassing mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it and push it behind you.
#3 – It’s OK to ask for help.
#4 – It’s OK if you don’t succeed in your dream. YOU are more valuable than your dream. Perhaps your dream included unrealistic expectations which caused discouragement and anxiety.
Maybe that dream was not meant for you. It’s OK. Life is still good. You are still good. Find another dream that will work for you.
#5 – Don’t let others’ expectations rule your life. If you try to please everybody, you are setting yourself up to fail. It’s impossible. Don’t stress out trying to do the impossible.
There are people who won’t like you or approve of your choices. Accept it and move on. Your worth does not depend on their opinion of you.
#6 – It’s OK to say “no.” You need to set boundaries to protect your time and energy.
There are certain responsibilities that you cannot shirk, so continue with them. However, anxious people tend to say “yes” far too often, adding unneeded stress to their lives.
#7 – “Should” is a terrible word. For example, “I should have exercised and not eaten that last donut.” “I should be a better person, but I’m not.” It adds stress and shame and doesn’t help motivate you to change anything. Take “should” out of your vocabulary.
#8 – Basic truth: Life is hard most of the time. Attempting to avoid trouble, or panicking when it happens, is a huge cause of anxiety. Fear of trouble can also cause you to shut down, push away people and ignore problems which only makes everything worse.
Problems are inescapable, woven into the fabric of this fallen world. Know this. Accept this.
You can learn to be strong and deal with problems, and allow your trouble to cause you to lean on God. When a problem happens, know that you ARE strong enough to deal with it. You have survived your entire life up to this point.
It’s OK if you don’t deal with it perfectly. Don’t let problems make you crumble. Don’t try to escape problems; it doesn’t work. Someone said, “I tried to drown my problems in alcohol, but I found they are excellent swimmers.” Instead, pray, ask for help, search the internet for answers, accept it and deal with it.
