(Image drawn by my daughter, Kayla)
Want to feel happier? Encouraged? Grateful?
It’s simple. Feed the flowers.
It’s human nature to focus on the bad. Someone compliments us, we brush it off. Someone insults us, we stew about it all day. That’s the truth.
Negative feelings grow like weeds. Just like dandelions take over and crowd out the grass, fear crowds out peace, disappointment crowds out thankfulness, and resentment crowds out friendship. Your mind is like a garden, and the soil of your mind is more fertile for weeds than for flowers.
Have you ever weeded a bare patch of land? It’s no fun, your hands get sore, and in about two days the weeds are back. So instead of focusing on pulling the weeds, let’s focus on feeding the flowers.
What does the Bible say about feeding the flowers?
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Phil 4:8 (NKJV)
I could spend several pages discussing the biology of this subject, but I’ll just give you this much. Nature has made the neurons in your brain default towards the negative, but when you consciously focus on the positive, you can actually rewire your neurons and their connections. This will improve your mood and make you healthier.
First, find some flower seeds.
Seeds are those little good things that happen in your life – a compliment, a good deed, or something beautiful. Some seeds are tiny, so you have to look hard to find them and be careful not to lose them.
Next, let the seeds soak in some water.
Spend TIME feeling and thinking about that good thing that happened, a few minutes or a few seconds. Let it fill your mind. Enjoy it. Thank God for it. Remember, your mind defaults to the negative. You need to consciously decide to spend time thinking about the positive.
When you look at a tree, spend time enjoying the beauty, marveling at God’s creation. Linger on those feelings for a few minutes. Encourage the feelings to become more intense.
After you go for a run, you feel good physically and mentally. Think about how relaxed your muscles feel. Congratulate yourself on doing something good for your health.
When you take a hot bath, turn off your brain, and focus on how your warm your skin feels, how relaxed your muscles feel. Smell the fresh scent of the soap. Be thankful that you have a hot bath.
When you are holding your spouse’s hand, focus on the physical pleasure of their fingers, the closeness you feel in your heart. Maybe your relationship isn’t the greatest, but spend a few moments thinking about the parts that you like, their strengths.
Sometimes when we are paid a compliment, we brush it off. When we do something well, we think of how we could have done better. We just picked our flowers and threw them in the compost pile. Stop it!
Watering the flowers is not pride. Pride is saying, “Look what I have done. My stuff is better than their stuff.” Watering the flowers is when you say, “This is my comfortable chair. It feels soft. It helps me relax.” Don’t just sit in it, but focus on the good physical and emotional feelings it gives you. You don’t care if it has a rip or if your neighbor has a better one.
When your child says, “I love you,” spend time just feeling the happiness that gives. Enjoy the fact that he is yours. For a few minutes, you ignore the mess and undone homework, and you just focus on the relationship.
Solomon spent a lifetime and a fortune in seeking happiness in all the wrong places – accumulating money, sex, power, and fame. He wrote Ecclesiastes as an old man, and these are some of his conclusions about life:
- Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. Ecc 2:24
- I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God. Ecc. 3:12,13
- So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his heritage… Ecc. 3:22
