Events happen in our lives. We label events as “good” or “bad.” Then we react accordingly. In other words, the way you think about an event affects your emotions, and then your emotions affect your behavior.
You can’t change an event that happened. It’s in the past. The one thing you can change is your thoughts about that event. Your thoughts then change your emotions. Your emotions then change your behavior.
Example #1: If you have a flat tire, you can think, “My day is ruined,” and then you become grouchy and kick the car. Or you can think, “Thank God I have a spare tire and I know how to change it,” and then you can smile and have joy.
Example #2: If you lose your job, you can think, “My life is ruined,” and then you will feel depressed and lie in bed for the next two months. Or you can think, “I get unemployment. This is my opportunity to get a better job. What are you going to do, God?” And you can feel faith and go out to look for a new job tomorrow.
If you want to change your emotions or your behavior, start by changing your THOUGHTS about a situation.
OK, here are the steps:
- An event happens. Think about how to interpret that event. Good? Bad? Scary? Stressful? Funny? CHANGE BEGINS HERE!
- Choose to think about that event as good, or funny or positive. If that’s too hard, think of it as a learning experience, or character builder.
- Your thought causes an emotion – joy, hope, excitement.
- Your emotion causes behavior. You can smile and not stress out. You can deal with it.
Think in a way that changes your emotions.
Story Time!
| This old story illustrates that often we often don’t interpret events correctly. |
| Long ago, lived an old man. One day the man’s horse was missing. He looked and looked but did not find it. His friends brought words of sympathy for the unfortunate loss. But the old man was unexpectedly calm and said, “It is OK; perhaps it will turn out to be a blessing.” A month later the old man heard the noise of horses and got up to see. To his surprise, he saw two horses. One was his own horse walking around right in front of his house. The other was a beautiful brown horse that had followed his horse home. Hearing the news, his friends congratulated him on his good luck. However, the old man was calm and thoughtful. He added, “It is true that I got a new horse for nothing, but one cannot tell the future. It may be an unlucky thing.” What he said was shown to be correct. The son of the old man loved horses and soon was riding the new, high-spirited horse. The son fell off the horse’s back and broke his leg badly. After that, he always walked with a limp. Once again, his friends expressed sympathy. “It is OK,” the old man said, “perhaps good will come of it.” A year later, the tribes from the north invaded the country. All the young men were required to fight in the war, and most of them died. The son of the old man was unable to go to war due to his disability, so he escaped death. He and his father lived long and happy lives together. |
| Stories are fun, so here’s another one with a bit of humor. Enjoy. |
| This is the story of a king in a faraway jungle who had a faithful servant who waited on him constantly. Now, this servant was a happy fellow. Whatever happened in life, good or bad, this servant always said, “That is a good thing.” One day the king took his servant with him when he went hunting. His servant loaded the gun for the king to shoot, but unbeknownst to the servant, the gun was broken. When the king fired it, the gun exploded and shot off the king’s thumb. The king screamed and held his bloody hand. The servant was shocked but stammered, “This is a good thing.” The king roared, “No! This is not a good thing!” And he threw his servant in jail. About a year later, the king was hunting, but he found nothing. He went further and further away from his village until he found himself in his enemies’ territory. The worst part about this was that it just so happened that his enemies were cannibals. The cannibals captured the king and took him to their village. They cheerfully made a huge fire in the center of the village and prepared to roast the king. However, when the started to tie the king’s hands together, they realized that he had lost his thumb. They were quite superstitious and thought it terribly unlucky to eat someone who was not whole. After a discussion, they let the king go and made him promise never to come back again. When the king returned home, he remembered the event that caused him to lose his thumb and felt guilty for his treatment of his servant. (As he should!) He ordered the jailers to let him go free. The king told the story of his capture and release to the servant and told him, “You were right. Losing my thumb was a good thing. I should not have sent you to prison. That was a bad thing.” “No,” answered the friend, “going to prison was a good thing.” “What do you mean ‘a good thing?’ How is it possible that sending you to prison could be a good thing?” The servant replied, “Because if I wasn’t in prison, I would have gone with the king!” |
